Paper? Plastic? Spastic?

That was a rough first 10 days off the meds. Also, it was PMS time. Nice timing there, spaz. Not that I believe it's over or that the peace I'm feeling today will even last. I'm still touchy, still get mad quickly, cry even more quickly, but when I'm not mad or crying in that overstressed, getting over the hump way, I feel so much more. . . real. It's as if that skin the meds give me becomes wool batting after a while. Everything is muffled and it's hard to take in how things really are. Hard to empathize, hard to take action, hard to just feel things as deeply as I do unmedicated. I'm not the first person to say all this, (indeed, it's not the first time I've learned it) so I won't take time to reiterate a common complaint. After all, I have things to make.
Here's a fun project: I have started purchasing reusable store bags. Trader Joe's has these handy insulated grocery bags, for frozen and refrigerated items and Safeway has the best cloth bags I've seen so far. They are made from recycled materials, are lighter than the canvas bags I could never get used to, and they carry twice as much.

Also, I actually remember to use them, which is a first. But, I don't like advertising for these, or any, stores. The bags are little billboards and I won't be suckered into carrying them around that way. Last Sunday, as a my sister and a friend sat in my kitchen and we BS'ed, I dug out some fabric paints and covered up the Safeway logo with black, to match the rest of the bag, then decorated with wonky flowers and vines until the girls noticed and wanted to paint, too. Sigh.


The first experimental one was fun, and I did hand over half the bags to the girls to do themselves, but now I want to do something better and have been looking through all my motif books.



Aren't Dover Books the best? I never appreciated them until I started wanting to make things beautiful and had given up on waiting until I was an artist. I think I'll google a few things I don't have, too, like oak leaf and acorn motifs, and see what says, "Pick me!" the loudest.
Anyway, I'm trying to tell that voice in my head which mocks the admittedly odd ways and places my need to create manifests to shut the fuck up. So what if I'm spending time, effort and materials on grocery bags. If it were up to that asshole, all I'd ever do is bitch on this blog. ; )